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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Crovax The Cursed's LiveJournal:

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Friday, October 4th, 2013
4:26 am
NIN show tonight!
This seems like the kind of thing my LJ has to be informed of. Nine Inch Nails were in town today! And I had an extremely good ticket! I went with my brother and his girlfriend. Sorry, I mean his fiancée, actually. We were about 10 feet from the stage.

What a great show! Not that I'm surprised or anything. They played a lot of song off the new album, which was cool. Different from all the past shows, I think. And they played songs a bit more obscure, like I'm Afraid of Americans and Burn. So happy they did that.

They also played my favourite from Hesitation Marks: While I'm Still Here. That song... that song is the sexiest thing he's ever written. That little guitar riff! Holy crap.

Returning to the tour band were Alessandro Cortini and Robin Fink. Always nice to see Robin on stage. Him and his funny hair.

I don't know what else to write about this show. It was very good, but not quite as good as the last one I saw. It's too recent right now, probably.

(4 details noticed | it's in the details)

Thursday, June 27th, 2013
1:42 am
letter
John Green doesn't have an email address for fan mail, so I guess he'll never get this one. I guess I'll just put it here.

Dear John,

The day I read your latest book was the worst day of my life.

Before I get into that, you need some exposition, but I couldn't resist starting a letter with such an overly dramatic sentence. In fact, I should be starting by congratulating you, because you just had a kid. I hope you will accept my heartfelt Best Wishes for you and your growing family.

So. Exposition. In 4 days I will be 32 years old. I am a translator by trade, but a writer and poet by interest. Things in my life are going relatively well, in a big-picture kind of way; you know, easy Western life in a rich country (Canada), a job that pays enough to live on, etc. I still managed to have a bad day this June 20, because well, for some reason I felt vaguely sick at work, probably because I have not been sleeping enough this past month. And the lack of sleep is probably because I left my girlfriend about a month ago. Today is the worst because it would have been our anniversary. She really loved me, and I broke her heart when I left. This is awful and unforgivable. Knowing that she probably feels worse than me does not help, John, let me tell you.

Now, about your book and why I'm reading it now. I've been a nerdfighter for a long time. I've been watching since the first year of brotherhood 2.0. I forget when I started. The Hank on caffeine episode, I think. Then for a year or two I took something of a hiatus from YouTube. I only came back just now, last month, when I found myself alone and shitty. I actually listened to the entire run of the Swoodelypoopers over about a week. In a few videos you talked about your last book, and how it was on the New York Times best sellers list. I went and checked it out. It is in first place, but your other books are all on there too, occupying the top 12 perennially like the British Crown in my non-country. That's pretty awesome.

Right, the point of all that was to say I'd never read any of your books this whole time. I figured, well, he writes for teens, you know? I'm a grown-ass man who reads grown-up books. The reason I started watching your channel is because around that time you did a review of Catcher in the Rye. I'd like more of that, by the way; you could do Franny and Zooey next, it's my favourite.

So after consuming all the soccer videos at a rate which could only be called vertiginous and also borderline manic, I strolled back to your main channel, and happened upon you reading the first two chapters of The Fault in Our Stars. I enjoyed it. It sounded much better than the stuff I remembered as teen literature from when I was 12 or so. So I figured, hell, I'll buy one of his books, man. I mean I've been listening to his stuff for gratis all these years! So I walked over to the Chapters in downtown Montreal on my lunch break and got your damn book.

That was last week. I already had a few others books on the go at the time, so I finished a couple first (Lord Jim, by Conrad, and a local poet you wouldn't have heard of, on account of him being French and with a very indie publisher who's also a friend of mine (does that make me a hipster?)).

Well, what can I say? The book is great, man. Grownups can read it without feeling like they're reading a kids' book. It made my bad day a lot better. I didn't get much work done, but when I snuck out to the park, the point was to not be working, sure, but I was still reading the whole time. Started yesterday on the metro and was compelled to finish it today. I guess having that kind of perspective is nice. My troubles are nothing compared to a couple of kids dying of cancer. They happen to be fictional, but they are no less real (like Bald John Green and Other John Green). I live next to a children's hospital, so I am painfully aware.

It still sucks to be me, today, but you made it suck less. And obviously it's not really the worst day of my life. Nobody I knew died, or anything. I just felt like crap, physically and mentally. Your book, thought, it just helped. All of that just to say thanks. Sorry, I am bad at writing short letters. Always been.

You take care of that wife and kids, John. If you ever come out here, I hope I'll get a chance to say hi.

(2 details noticed | it's in the details)

Wednesday, March 27th, 2013
11:44 pm
garbage
So I just came back from the Metropolis where Garbage was playing. Holy crap what a show. The crowd was super loud and enthusiastic. The band couldn't seem to get over it. They were taking pictures of us with their phones. Shirley looked émue. She told us she had "ecstasy dreams" which were like this.
Speaking of Shirley, MAN does she ever kick ass. What a voice, what a presence! They played songs from pretty much all eras, all albums, all mixed up. Very good balance between old and new. They could do no wrong. Just amazing.

Going to NYC next week for NECSS. It's a conference on science and critical thinking. Kinda wish I could've also gone to PAX East last weekend, but I can't go on a trip every week, can I?

(1 detail noticed | it's in the details)

Sunday, January 13th, 2013
7:49 pm
Barcelona
So I've been visiting Spain for the past 11 days. Eventually I have to write more about that, a travel journal type thing, but from memory. I figure I should take the time to actually enjoy the trip before writing about it. I don't know. I'm thinking I'll probably write it day-by-day and backdate all the entries. Just a heads-up. To my innumerable readers.

Innumerable is a word in Spanish. Another heads-up.

I am in this great hostel, very confortable and practical after all the travelling we've been doing.

The point of this post, though, is this book I'm reading. Go Down, Moses, by Faulkner. I had only read a few of his short stories before. This is also a book of short stories, but really they are all connected, about the same people. So it's like a novel in disguise. I can't believe how good this is. The man was a genius. Even though he writes in the damn two-page long sentences. His characters are so defined, so real, so developped. If I could create a single of these characters I could consider myself an accomplished writer. This book is just full of them. And the lurking terror of the Wild, the impenetrable darkness he's creating, I don't think I have the words yet to describe. In his stories men can only wrestle with it and try to remain human, but it seems like nature is always strongest, just by enduring and outlasting anything. I've never seen anyone else write like that. The wilderness is the main character in many of his stories, I think.

So yeah. I'm enjoying this book. I'm doing laundry and it might be the best part of the trip. Ha.

(it's in the details)

Sunday, November 11th, 2012
7:59 pm
trop ou juste assez
Another nice afternoon, another walk with the dog. Shorter, this time. Went to the dog park, but some people were there with pitbulls and they were playing too rough for our poor puggle. Came back and made curry. Delicious. Trying to write, it's going slow. I skipped two days without realizing. We got too drunk last night during and after dinner. Friday I was too sick. I forget why I didn't write yesterday during the day, but I was expecting to have some time in the evening. I may be on to something, story-wise. I will attempt to plug ahead tonight.

So yeah, outlaw pitbulls, already. They don't own the park!

(it's in the details)

Saturday, November 10th, 2012
4:26 pm
fall
We are having one of those glorious autumn days, with cool air and not a cloud in the sky. We went for a walk in the park with the dog. She rolled around in the grass. We walked for nearly two hours, and the dog was hardly tired until the last few blocks. In fact she seemed like she was getting more and more excited the longer we stayed in the park. It's one of those very large parks where you can walk for an hour end to end. Then we crossed the Olympic Stadium grounds (much less fun, all concrete) and picked up some wine for dinner; we're eating out tonight. We're having Peruvian with friends. Those guys make great food; if you find one of those restaurants, you should try it. Ceviche and bull's heart. Awesome. Speaking of food, I think I had some bad nachos the other night. Yesterday morning I was feeling like crap. I went to work anyway, but when I got home, we ate and then I collapsed in bed for 14 hours. The gf wasn't happy about losing a Friday night like that. (Don't worry, she was still pretty understanding about it.) Today it's all cleared up. I basically felt badly hung over for 36 hours or so. This is the second time I've poisoned myself in about a month. Last time was salmonella, I think. That was ... intense. My friend is leaving on a four-month long trip in two weeks. I'm happy for her, but it's a long time! I should be able to go meet her in Barcelona around January. So that's good. More on that later. Have I mentioned I'm doing nanowrimo? I'm behind, but I started late and yesterday was a bust. I'll catch up. Must catch up! Right now!

(it's in the details)

Saturday, November 3rd, 2012
2:08 pm
note
Also, I installed a LJ client so I'll remember to post more often. I mean, in theory, it could work.

(it's in the details)

2:00 pm
yep
Ah, yes, that last post was 5 months ago when the strike was in full force. Since then, we won. We forced the liberals (who are not liberal in the least, except with the mafia) to hold an election, and they were defeated. Just barely, but still. Charest, the leader and ex-PM, was defeated in his own riding. That, THAT, was glorious. He quit the party in a huff. It was... I think it was the best possible outcome to have a minority government while defeating that guy personally.

I am still wearing the red square, because I have been since 2005, but also because one of the student union representatives was tried for contempt of the court and found guilty. For speaking. Fuck that shit. He is appealing, but obviously a philosophy major who has been a full-time militant for the last 9 months can't afford all this legal stuff. They are raising funds, I hope the community helps him out.

I am starting NaNoWriMo, but I have no idea what I'm writing about. I'm starting this anti-monarchy thing, which may or may not pan out. The idea is having it a thinly veiled metaphor for our current queen and to have a protagonist who works to bring her down.

But the big news is that I am writing from a new computer! (yep, so much more important than the strike business, right? It's about me, after all.) It's a Toshiba laptop with a pretty good graphic card, for gaming. It's shiny and new! It should help me work on personal projects more often, or better, or something.

(it's in the details)

Saturday, June 2nd, 2012
1:34 pm
plusse de grève
I know it's not unusual for this page to be mostly silent, but this time it is with good reason, sort of. See, the students are still on strike, and I have been going out to support them whenever I can. There are daily demonstrations at night, and they are usually a perfect time for me to attend right after work. I think tonight would mark the 40th straight demonstration.

I haven't even been arrested yet, which is surprising. Since the government passed its special emergency law a few weeks ago, they are arbitrarily arresting just about anyone in a protest. They even gassed and arrested people sitting on a pub's patio when a protest walked by them.

So the end result is that I am always never home, and I am tired as hell. Lotta walking. Not alotta sleeping.

(it's in the details)

Tuesday, April 17th, 2012
1:36 am
The albino lobster of contempt shames you for dropped sausages.
I can't believe I dropped a whole sausage off the balcony. Fuck. It was done! Ready! Juicy and delicious! I need a grill that's not a dropping hazard. I live on the 4th floor. It fell for a long time. It made a really loud noise when it hit the ground. I couldn't see through the weeds; I wonder if it exploded.

There is a student strike on now. Because we gave up in 2005, I guess. I hope they keep at it this time. It's already been longer. Which is good. The next couple of weeks are the crux. If they give up now, it'll all have been for nothing. They have to wait for the government to cave in first, but Charest knows full well that most of the students are not willing to lose a whole term, so he is just waiting them out. Hopefully enough of the student associations will vote to keep striking through the summer if necessary. If he's facing a strike until September, then the PM will have to make an offer.
Generally their demonstrations are in the daytime, while I'm at work. They held one in the evening last Wednesday, so I went. I guess there were 200-300 of us, which is really small. We walked around downtown, blocking streets to light traffic, and yelled at some cops. Good times. But the one last month with over 100,000 people was... well. Better.

There have been a lot of poetry slams this month, and more to come. This time of year is pretty busy. Last night at the Throw, their special guest was Catherine Kidd! She signed my book (a collection of Conundrum Press writers, including her), which I was serendipitously carrying while not even knowing she would be there. So yeah. I definitely have a giant fanboy crush on her. God. That voice. Like honey running down a leather guitar case. Look her up. She has to be on Youtube somewhere. Ok, yes, she is.
Her book, Sea Peach, comes with a recording. It's lovely.

OH, yes, this is exciting. I have tickets to Radiohead! Next June. Holy crap. They sold out in like 2 hours. And we're on the floor! This is gonna be incredible.

(it's in the details)

Saturday, March 10th, 2012
2:38 pm
random xboxy things
Wow, has it been two months since my last post?

Only two months? Seemed longer.

So yeah. I was dumped. For such a casual relationship, it sure took me a whole week to get over. Bad times.

But that was last month. Even before last month. It was, in fact, over two months ago.

Finally went out and bought the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo soundtrack. Trent made it, don't you know. It's nice. Ambient instrumental pretty much all the way. Reminds me of Ghosts. The first track is a cover of Immigrant Song with Karen O. on vocals and is FUCKING AMAZING. God, she has an amazing voice that makes my pants shrink three sizes... I need to listen to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs more.

I rented Duke Nuken Forever. I know. It's moronic. And bad. But like... it's like a cheesy, campy movie that's so bad it's good! Well, ok, not even that good, even in that sense. I was curious, is all. Now my curiosity is satisfied and I and kind of creeped out. If at least it were a good game. Like, playable, and relatively fun. But no. They truly deserved all the bad reviews. I'm not sure about these people. Gearbox Software. They made borderlands as well, and I can't remember if I tried the demo or if it was any good, and that's not a good sign.

Hold on. I have to go start the CD over and hear more Immigrant Song awesomeness.

But yeah. I rented the damn thing, so I may as well try to play through it. Even though I'm stuck at this shitty jumping puzzle. Man. Such bad design. And of course it's true what they said; the gameplay and graphics are totally stuck in 2005. Let's just say that when you're used to Gears of War 3, goin back to this old-timey shooter style is not exactly... welcome. I am starting to be nostalgic about having something good to be nostalgic about.

All this only happened because Dragon Age 2 was out. Dammit. I've been playing through Dragon Age 1 the past month or so and it's pretty damn good. Now Mass Effect 3 is out and I need to play the first (it didn't keep my savegames) over again, then the 2nd, to get ready for it. But I can't find the 1st anywhere and I mistakenly bought a French copy of the 2nd. It wasn't written anywhere on the box! Bastards.

Yay video games.

My next thing is taking more time off and getting a tattoo. From... somewhere.

(3 details noticed | it's in the details)

Wednesday, January 4th, 2012
1:20 am
« Aveu », ostie
On est mardi, le premier jour de retour au bureau après les vacances des Fêtes (des osties de vacances fausses de marde, d'ailleurs, parce que j'ai travaillé tout le long, mais à distance). Je rentre du bureau pas mal tard, parce que j'suis arrivé pas mal en retard au bureau à matin, pis parce que j'me suis arrêté à l'épicerie en ervenant. Tsé, mon frigidaire était pas mal vide avec les vacances qui v'naient de finir; j'ai quand même été parti presque deux semaines.

Fait que j'arrive chez nous, y'é huit heure moins quart, j'suis fatigué, j'pue, j'ai mon épicerie à ranger, le souper à faire pis à manger, pis du linge à laver en plus. Je vois mon répondeur qui me sémaphore que j'ai un message. C'est ma blonde su'a machine qui dit qu'elle était dans le coin, mais qu'elle m'a raté pis qu'on se reparle. (On s'est pas vus de toutes les Fêtes.) Pis là, a rajoute, avec un ton passablement lugubre, que « faudrait qu'on se parle un peu », tsé, comme si on s'était jamais parlé.

Ben oui, je sais ben que fallait pas le prendre littéral de même. Pis je sais aussi pertinament que son ton me disait « J'veux te quitter mais je suis pas game pour faire ça au répondeur ». Ça crève les yeux. Fait que je pogne le téléphone pis je rapelle, mais son cell répond pas. Je ramasse mes clémentines pis mes pâtes, pis je ressaye; toujours rien. (J'ai compris plus tard qu'elle était en train de m'écrire, à ce moment même.)

Je décide de laisser faire pis de me préparer à manger. C'est sûrement mes pires pâtes à vie, à cause que ma sauce est vachement ratée. Ma mère m'appelle au milieu pis je manque rater à 100% ce plat déjà déficient à 60%. Je raccroche, je cours jusqu'au fourneau pour réchapper tout ça à dernière seconde, puis je m'installe devant la tévé pour manger (tant qu'à être à veille d'la rupture, autant y aller à fond la marde). Pis toutte c'te temps là, j'me sens s'ul bord du gouffre, même si j'essaie d'me convaincre qu'elle voulait dire le contraire de c'que j'ai compris. Peut-être qu'au lieu de se quitter, elle veut qu'on soit plus sérieux? (Pis c'est quelle version qui serait pire?)

Après j'ouvre le petit zine du FAS que j'avais ramassé à l'Expozine. Je tombe sur une histoire de guèpes, avec un gars qui se demande s'il devrait essayer de les distraire en sifflotant « Ne me pique pas », sur l'air de « Ne me quitte pas », évidemment. Pis l'histoire d'après qui s'apelle « Faut vraiment qu'on se parle ». C'est de circonstance en crisse, votre affaire.

Là, pour arracher le plaster, je devrais rappeler encore ma blonde, mais je me dis que vu qu'elle m'a raté au téléphone puis chez moi, elle doit être revenue chez elle, puis qu'a m'a sûrement écrit. Donc je check mon courriel, pis justement, sa lettre est juste là su'l dessus. Ça s'appelle « Aveu ». Sur une échelle de 1 à 10, c'est un mauvais signe en esti.

C'est une longue lettre, mais j'ai rarement vu une lettre de rupture courte. Elle me récapitule toutte l'histoire depuis le début, pour me dire comment elle voyait un autre gars en même temps (mais moins souvent que moi, comme si ça allait adoucir la chose) et que maintenant elle était amoureuse et qu'elle me quittait pour un autre. Pas l'autre. Un autre un-autre.

Tsé, pour l'autre, je le savais. Ça faisait pas trop mon affaire, mais bon, j'suis pas le président de ses fesses, a fait ce qu'a veut avec. Puis y m'inquiétait pas trop trop, d'ailleurs, mais bon, se faire supplanter par un ti-cul insignifiant de Couche-Tard en grève c'aurait été pas mal colissant. Ben non, c'est un-autre, n'est-ce-pas, un troisième. J'le savais pour lui aussi, mais tsé, j'pensais que c'était le même. Que l'autre, là, me suis-tu?

Sa lettre finit par, genre, « Je te serre fort et surtout je m'excuse, tellement ». T'endends les pleurs derrière à cent milles. Elle a l'air de le prendre ben plus mal que moi, la pauvre tite. Difficile d'être ben ben en colère, mais n'empêche que j'me s'en comme d'la marde en canne. Fait que je m'ouvre une bière pis un jeu de Xbox avec des tronçonneuses. Je pense que ça s'enligne pour être un hiver pas mal merdique, finalement.

En passant, merci de m'avoir mis cette toune-là dans tête...

Tiens, qu'esséça entre les pages du zine du FAS? Une carte d'affaires avec un numéro qu'une fille m'a donné! Oups, je pense que l'autre petite courrailleuse risque de se laisser oublier plutôt vite.




*************************
*************************
(English version: I just got dumped in a humourous fashion.)
(I'll be fine.)

(1 detail noticed | it's in the details)

Thursday, December 1st, 2011
3:24 am
just some thing to point out i am still here.
I wonder if one can die of loneliness.
not sadness, or depression, or illness
that one might have while because of it,
but simply disintegrate;
slowly
alone
in full health
but lonely.

is that what old people die of, in homes?
wasting away because they are alone?
is one's mind the first thing to go, really?

i have been on the record as saying i like being alone.
there are good and bad things about it.
just like there are good and bad things about being with others.

i am not alone today;
i don't know if that's better or worse.
i don't think i am more or less happy than before.
i enjoy the company and don't crave being alone,
but i enjoyed the space when i was.

on the other hand,
i have never heard about anyone dying from being with others.

unless you count wars.

(it's in the details)

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011
3:40 am
Yes, yes, I know. I haven't written in forever.

I've been busy! and working. which is another kind of busy. a bad kind.

seriously, if i ever complained before about "wasting time" or "wasting my life" by staying at home doing nothing, i take it back. being an employee is the real waste of time. it's been over a year and i swear it feels like a month. no, the time before, when i was a bum, that was time wisely spent. that was productive. i hardly ever write anymore, i'm too tired to sit in diners all night and read or write, i have like 10 projects i need to get to work on but can't because of WORK.

i am a wage slave! i can't quit my job because i have to pay rent. i have to pay rent so i can have a place to come back to after work and pass out. it's a vicious circle.

i can still complain like nobody's business tho.

so at least there's that.

(1 detail noticed | it's in the details)

Saturday, July 2nd, 2011
6:56 pm
that clerk done made my day
so last week, in case anyone's counting, i turned 30. i used to think 30 was way old, until i got there...

i went to the liquor store, yesterday, to pick up a few things. (fancy scotch and rotgut bourbon.) i had a gift card (birthday present) (yes, a gift card for the liquor store. my family knows me too well.) and when i handed it to the cashier he said "i'm gonna have to ask you for your I.D."

i thought that was strange. since when do you need I.D. to redeem a gift card? they don't have my name on record or on the gift card; what the hell?

then i clued in. "OH, to check my age, you mean!"

i thanked him profusely. i told him i'd just turned 30 and i had not been carded in at least 8 years. i handed him my driver's license, but he hardly even looked at it. i guess my reaction of genuine happiness must have been proof enough.

(it's in the details)

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011
7:57 pm
DMV ninja
I wonder if the script to Helvetica was written in that typeface.

Imagine being at the DMV. You have been waiting for 2 hours. You took a number, and it says “488;” the numbers board says “Now serving: 49.”

You’re hoping that this means they are on the fourth run up the dial and it really means 449. You really, really hope so.

While you are staring at the board, willing it to increment faster (it just finally went up to 50), some guy walks in. He ambles right up to the counter, hands in his ticket, and proceeds to conduct his business, smiling at the teller, free of stress and tedium. Then he walks out into the sunlight, not having spent more than 30 seconds on the premises.

You are sitting there, in shock, unbelieving, even more frustrated and bored than before, fuming at that fucking guy and his carefree swagger. Even in the throes of anger, however, you are forced to begrudgingly admit to yourself: “Shit. That was badass.”

Dear reader, last week at the DMV, that guy was me. I’d taken a number a few hours earlier, before going to work, made a rough estimate of how long the wait should be, and popped back on my break to see how close it was. Well, like I said, I walked in mere seconds before the board ticked over to my number. Pure elation. Thank you SAAQ tellers, thank you for being so slow and predictable.

Shit. That was badass.

(1 detail noticed | it's in the details)

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011
1:26 am
royal is probably my least favourite word. of all.
As promised, ladies and gentlemen, my thoughts on the Goddamned Royal Wedding.

Why is it that I'm supposed to care about these people? Why is this such a big deal? Sure, he'll be my king someday, but all that even means anymore is that he'll have to wave to everyone like his grandma. The whole thing is meaningless, not to mention a gigantic waste of money. Add in the subtext of sacred right that buttresses the idea of monarchy in the first place, along with the centuries of oppression, and you know you've got a winner.

Sometimes I can't believe how fucking stupid our society is. Being subjugated by the idea that these two perfect strangers are getting married! This entire concept is moronic and grotesque. I wanted to say ridiculous, but that would allow for a portion of irony, and there's nothing funny here.

And let's not forget the worst part about all this for them. Yeah, let's do something nobody in the media or in their royal court would ever do, here, and think about those two kids as actual human beings. Which they are; sure, they are privileged, sheltered, inbred, a waste of resources, and represent the worst aspect of our culture and history, but they are people. Human beings with relatively normal intelligence and feelings.

So. Yes; for them. What the hell kind of life have they been living for the last few months, and how much must it suck to have to celebrate a wedding with the whole world watching (or making it a point not to watch, like my curmudgeonly self)? Making such a big media circus of it robs the event of any dignity it might have had. So much pomp and circumstance transforms their supposed idyl into a spectacle for public amusement and wonder. I feel pity for them. Anger at the entire concept of monarchy and the system that props it up, but personal pity for these two individuals. If there was any empathy left in them, the media would have left them the fuck alone.

Now they're coming on a trip to Canada this summer. Just a fun little time as newlyweds and tourists, right?

Wrong. So, so, dead wrong.

They will be "visiting" a bunch of places, basically every major attraction in the country, over 8 or 9 days, starting with the First of July celebrations in Ottawa and ending at the Stampede in Calgary a week later. They will hardly be spending a day in each place, will spend most of their time traveling the stupidly large distances of this wide, empty country, and will be under constant surveillance by hundreds of reporters and paparazzi, watching like hawks, hoping, salivating, for the slightest mistake, the most mundane accident, the most vaguely undignified behavior, ready to pounce and fill reams of tabloid paper with their pictures and bad puns.

You think they'll have a single moment to relax? To behave like actual human beings? Not a chance. They will be shepherded and paraded from place to place by their security detail in a tunnel lined with adulation, camera flashes, shaking the hands of the assembled politicians and other authorized personnel, getting a glimpse of the Old Town in Québec City, bits of Montréal (as far away from the red light district as possible, obviously), and the fucking tourist trap at Green Gables in PEI. This is not a vacation. It isn't even a trip. It's a goddamn tour, and a rather intense and physically demanding one, at that. They won't be allowed to visit or to enjoy anything, they'll be making appearances, and the physical location wouldn't make any difference.

And of course, once again, we're the ones lucky enough to have the immense honour of footing the bill for this futile bullshit. As if we needed another incident to prove the intrinsically parasitic nature of monarchy. If at least they would make themselves useful every now and then by exercising their symbolic power, like busting up the Harper government when they prorogued parliament or when they were found in contempt of parliament a year later. But no. The GG didn't do shit. We're stuck wasting money on these assholes, and we're ALSO stuck being led by "darth vader complex" motherfuckers who think the populace would be better off under martial law.

So that's awesome. Long live the queen, because at least she's not into alternative medecine like her son.

(it's in the details)

Saturday, May 21st, 2011
4:18 pm
overdue
there are a few things i've been meaning to write about for like two weeks and never seem to get the chance, or take the time to actually do it.

Osama's assassination
so some intelligence service sent a platoon of some 79 navy seals to illegally assassinate Bin Laden after illegally invading Pakistan. and the media and Obama are all like "this is a decisive and important victory for the united states." listen, sending marines to kill some (practically) undefended old man in a secluded mansion in the pakistani countryside is not a "victory." it is not justice. there was no trial, no evidence, no consultation, he was never found guilty, it was just a big gun-ho, cowboy, mad rush for blood and vengeance. to characterize any action in an war as "just" is preposterous, especially in this instance where the entire war was sold to us on false premises. and (figuratively) parading his corpse around in the media, congratulating ourselves on a job well done, with shouts of "U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!" is barbarous and repulsive. there are a lot i don't like about the united states, and the crazy nationalism is one of the foremost.

if anything, this illustrates how useless this war has been. they did not use anything they've gotten from making war on afganistan or iraq for this operation. they used detective work. intelligence gathering that could have been (and was) gathered the normal way. thus, the last fleeting justification for this war has evaporated. first it was "weapons of mass destruction." then, after it was proven that they were never any WMDs and that the Bush government knew it all along, they said "but, TERRORSISTS!" well, it turns out that war doesn't really help fight "terrorism" either. at least bush has, basically,--seven or eight years after going to war--admitted that it was about oil, really. but nobody seems to mind. i certainly haven't seen any outrage in the media. two countries have been all but destroyed! over oil, something which is actively destroying our ecosystem! and this is fine? business as usual. the only thing you hear about is more fear-mongering, and the TSA implements more security theatre measures. making people take off their shoes. scanning their junk. invading their privacy for no reason.

meanwhile, the people in charge of al-Qaeda keep doing whatever it is they've been doing, and another leader steps up to take bin laden's place (something which had already happened anyway). and this farce of a war keeps having zero effect on them, except for concentrating their attention and their violence in their own country, on their own people, and away from the western world (for the most part), so it's all peachy, as far as we're concerned.

next time on our program: the oh-so important and fascinating Royal Wedding!

(it's in the details)

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011
8:24 pm
disastrous results
you know,
it occurred to me today that
propane
and
croquet
sound very similar.

this led to an imagined game
of croquet
using propane tanks
which would be

disastrous.

(it's in the details)

Monday, May 2nd, 2011
11:27 pm
an erection to remember. ELECTION, i mean. sorry.
holy shit you guys.

i'm watching the partial election results and SHIT IS CRAZY. shit is losing its mind so hard SHIT HAS SHAT ITS OWN PANTS.

the entire province of Québec has been painted orange. the bloc québécois is barely holding on to 3 or 4 seats out of the 50+ they used to have. i would never have thought i'd see the day. so yeah. good news here. at least now Québec won't be marginalized in parliament, since we pretty much ARE the official opposition party.

bad news: we're all fucked. it looks like harper's undemocratic, dictatorial fuckhead conservatives are going to have a majority government. this is is clearly the worst case scenario. and obviously, it's all because of the collapse of the liberal vote due to the strong NPD showing. people we worried they would split the left-leaning voters, and boy, did they ever. they done tipped them right over. so the idea that people we going to send a message to harper by voting NPD have, ironically, precipitated his ultimate and crushing victory. it's like ... having McCain beat Obama because 20% of Obama's supporters voted Nader instead. except with a different Obama who is actually as leftist as the republicans are saying.

now ignatieff is doing his concession speech... i bet he's going to announce his resignation. he's the liberal party leader and he didn't even win his own riding. the liberals won't even get 40 seats out of the entire country.

i will update again later. probably.

--------------------
man, i dunno. ignatieff is sounding like a guy who wants to stay at the head of the party. what the fuck? is he serious? you just suffered the worst loss EVER for the liberals, and you think they'll let you stay on? you're not even elected!
---------------
it's funny how nobody in america even knows there's an election going on. wonder if this giant change for canada will even make the news down there tomorrow.

-------------
well, the leader of the bloc québécois just announced HIS resignation. which was pretty unavoidable. he might have waited till the next day, like ignatieff probably will do. but this was a historic collapse and i guess he doesn't see a way out.
well, apart from running at the provincial level, which i am almost certain he will do now. and with this giant wind of change, the parti québécois would definitely win an election in a crushing majority right now (nobody likes the liberals anymore at the provincial level in québec) and maybe even a referendum for secession.
-----------------

on the bright side, the green party looks like it might win its first riding ever! go elizabeth may!


----------------
it's official. conservative majority. say goodbye to government funding for parties, the long-gun registry, any possibility of proportional representation, and any other progressive legislature.

it's gonna be a long four years.

(1 detail noticed | it's in the details)

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